Tape OZK0012

I read up to the eleventh section of the book, from Tape OZK0012.

The twelfth section begins with the taped conversation between Adam and Brint. Adam continues with where he had left off as he tells Brint that he was devastated down in the basement after he heard his parent’s conversation. Adam was in grave confusion as he longed for his father to come down and talk to him. The narrative changes to a third-person as the scene changes from the conversation to the actual past. When Adam’s father finds Adam in the basement, he is extremely concerned as he constantly asks if Adam is okay. Unable to hold back his confusion of his past, Adam decides to finally ask his dad what is going on and who the gray man and Martha are. Adam’s father had always feared this day that Adam will ask about their family’s past, yet it was reality.
The scene changes back to the conversation as Adam tells Brint that his father revealed that Adam’s real name was Paul Delmonte, not Adam Farmer. His father continued on telling of Adam’s past as he told Adam that the bus trip and the running into the woods was to hide from a dangerous someone. Adam realizes that they have run away from someone deadly, but he has no clue in which that someone is. The scene changes back to the third person narrative of Adam and his dad in the basement. His father unfolded his true identity as his real name was Anthony Delmonte. He was working as a reporter for Blount Telegrapher in Blount, New York. He had a successful career as he became a political reporter, being awarded for discovering the corruption in the government in Blount. With success came his wife, Louise Nolan, and his son, Adam. The scene again suddenly changes to the conversation, as Adam becomes suspicious of Brint and why he wants to desperately know all these information. Brint, however, simply ignores his question and urges Adam to continue on about the bus trip.
Adam recalls his father telling Adam in the basement about how he had testified against the senate board after finding a document showing evidence of an arranged crime involving both state and federal government. Having testified, security was promised to him and his family. However, he had to live secretly in various hotel rooms as he was only able to visit his family a few times in their guarded house. Adam couldn’t remember any part of this because he was only an infant. Despite all the things that Anthony had already told Adam about, he decided not to tell Adam everything for the sake of Adam and his safety against betrayal just in case he would be asked about the information he already knows. Brint asks about this safety against betrayal, but Adam tells that he doesn’t really remember, bringing suspicion to Brint that Adam may be with more knowledge than what he tells of. Anthony soon returned to Blount with his job back as he was extremely happy just by the fact that he can live with his family. With him testifying against the senate board, many were quietly arrested, others resigned.
The narrative changes, telling of the day that a bomb had been planted in Adam’s dad’s car. A policeman saw two strangers wandering around the house and Adam’s dad’s car as he suspected something tragic. He demanded for Anthony to stay in the house as he realized that there was a bomb in the car. The threats continued as Anthony was nearly killed one day when he was working late. As he was walking out the building, the guard suddenly pointed a gun at Anthony. However, Grey had just come in time to shoot the guard. According to Anthony, this was how Grey had become part of the Adam’s family’s life. Adam tells Brint that Grey was part of the U.S Department of Re-Identification and had been in charge of Anthony’s case. The narrative changes to the third person narrative as Anthony talks about the situation that the family is. Although Adam and Anthony, Adam’s father, talked much more than usual, they were often restricted by the fact that there might be hidden bugs in places. Adam described the U.S Department of Re-Identification as the organization that helped witnesses such as Anthony who testified against larger and powerful group of people. They helped the people live safely with new identities. After the two attempts to kill Anthony, Grey had offered Anthony to join this department as there will be many more attempts to kill Anthony. He was undecided, but after a phone call threatening his wife, Anthony didn’t have much option but to join. The scene changes back to the conversation as Adam explains that the department, therefore, moved the family to Monument with new identities as Farmers. Anthony and his wife didn’t like it yet, they had no choice but to live with it. Although there wasn’t much chance that the dangerous people would find Adam’s family, they still had to be careful. It is later explained from a third person narrative that there wasn’t much chance of Adam’s family being found because a newspaper issued stated their death as shown from a newspaper article revealed by Anthony.

Although the mystery seemed to be mainly about Adam’s past, this section reveals the true mystery of this story. The focus was on Adam’s past, making it appear as if the mystery is about Adam trying to figure out his past identity. However, the true mystery is not really about Adam’s past since most of it has already been revealed with much more sections left in the story. It is not the past that is the mystery, but the present, which are the bike trip and the taped conversation. I was fascinated by how concentrated I was of the past of Adam that I realized that I actually hadn’t even thought of what will happen to Adam in the bike trip and the taped conversation. As the mystery of Adam’s past was pretty much revealed, new questions speeded to my mind about how Adam will react in the present and how the bike trip will go.

The similar characteristics of Anthony and Adam is shown in this section as both are courageous against greater power as Anthony fights against the corrupt government senate committee and Adam fights against Brint. Brint is also brought to attention as Adam questions Brint why he wants to know the information. Brint, however, refuses to reveal his identity and his reasons for the urge to know Adam’s past. A sense of darkness builds around Brint since he does not reveal anything about himself as though he is one of the antagonists in the story. The part that I find mysterious is where Adam mentions Anthony not telling everything to him for his own safety against betrayal when he is asked about the information. It strikes me that the taped conversation is the exact situation that Anthony was concerned about, which is why he didn’t tell everything to Adam. If Anthony did unfold every question, then Adam probably would have told the information to Brint as Adam was trying to recover memory through the taped conversations. I felt terrorized as Adam simply told Brint much of all the knowledge he knew without holding back just in case Brint was not who Adam supposed them to be. It is not only Brint’s identity that creates a feeling of malevolence, but also the fact that he has great power over Adam and forces Adam to answer questions and obey his orders.

Tape OZK0011

I read up to the eleventh section of the book, from Tape OZK0011.

The eleventh section begins with the bike trip as he recovers from a devastating fall into the ditch. He is met by Arnold, a generous old man, and his wife Edna who is hostile to Adam due to her fear of strangers. Although his bike is fine, the two allow Adam to come along in their car as they head for a town called Hookset. With his body hurting from the fall, his head also starts to feel hazy as he falls asleep singing “The Farmer in the Dell.” Adam is awoken by Arnold and Edna as they arrive in Hookset. Adam, however, feels sick, deciding to go to a pharmacy to find a medicine for his upset stomach.
The scene changes to the conversation between Adam and Brint as Adam complains to Brint about the pain in his body because of all the shots he had to take. Brint apologizes and continues on with the session to make progress. With the reminder from Brint of where they had left off, Adam is able to tell more information that he remembers about the gray man. Adam tells Brint that the gray man was a mysterious man who frequently visited his family. The reason that Adam had called this man the gray man was not only because his dad called him Grey, but also that he was a vague character. During his visit, he would always go down to the basement with his dad and talk while his mother would lifelessly sit upstairs. Adam had not been suspicious of the gray man since his father told Adam that the gray man was only an insurance agent. However, after discovering the existence of his aunt and the sealed birth certificates in his father’s drawers, Adam had grown suspicious of this gray man.
The narrative changes to a third person in which the scene changes to a Saturday that the gray man had visited his father. The two swiftly headed down to the basement as usual. Adam could not hold in the suspicion of the gray man anymore as he quietly went down to the basement, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. However, he was struck with panic as he realized that the door was soundproofed, barely stepping away in time for his dad to catch him spying. The scene returns to the taped conversation as Adam tells Brint that he had felt horrible about spying on his dad and decided to apologize to him, having realized that his father had some idea that Adam had been spying. When he went upstairs to apologize, he heard his parents talking, therefore decided to hear what their conversation was about, before he went into their room. His parents were concerned that Adam is starting to suspect them. Adam’s mother started to complain about the gray man visiting Adam’s dad in the house and how the gray man should have used his real name, Thompson. Adam’s father explains that Thompson, the gray man, uses a variety of names to survive. Adam’s father also tells that the family survived through Thompson. However, his mother is still unsatisfied that their life has to remain stagnant as if they had no life at all. Their conversation returned to the topic about Adam. Adam was growing older, but his parents didn’t really know what to do with him. Adam’s father also revealed to Adam’s mother that Adam had been spying, eavesdropping during her phone call with Martha.

The connection between the taped conversation and the first narrative of the bike trip is made stronger as more clues are revealed. During the bike trip, Adam falls into the ditch and his body is completely sore as he is helped by an elderly couple. When the scene changes to the taped conversation, Adam tells Brint that his body hurts, blaming it upon the shots he was given from the hospital. These clues continue leading to the idea that the bike trip and the conversation is occurring at the same time rather than different periods of time in Adam’s life. Another crucial hint is that Adam is in some sort of medical institute as he is having the taped conversations. When Adam arrives in the town of Hookset during his bike journey, he also enters a medical institute for some medicine to help his upset stomach. The hazy mystery between the different scenes starts to unfold little by little as more detailed clues and connections are shown.

The eleventh section shows that identity is a critical part of this mystery as Adam realizes that the gray man had been using a variety of identities to hide from danger. Adam also becomes aware that their family is in a life-threatening situation in which his family is hiding. He reasons that his parents could not socialize because they had to hide their identity. It is something about the identity of gray man and what he does, the two different birth certificates, and the emphasis the father had put on the song, “The Farmer in the Dell.” Since the dad puts such emphasis in the song, “The Farmer in the Dell,” for having their family name in the song, more suspicion is created that the name of Adam’s family has been changed. It is as though Adam’s father is trying to imprint on Adam’s mind that their family’s last name is Farmer through this song. The two different birth certificates also indicate that Adam may have once changed his identity, especially because of the fact that his father was keeping the certificates sealed in his desk drawers to keep a secret. The alternation of Adam’s identity is in a way affirmed as it is revealed that the gray man is in a same situation with Adam’s family, changing his names different times to hide his identity which direct that Adam’s family had also changed their names, having been in the similar circumstances of the gray man. More thrills is brought to the story since these clues not only show that Adam’s identity has changed, but brings curiosity of Adam’s past and what has terrible event has caused Adam’s family to change their identity.

The part of this section that has significantly stood out for me was the fact that Adam was in fear as he was in curiosity to find out about his family’s identity. Adam does try to figure out the mystery behind his family’s identity. However, he is a bit hesitant, getting an idea that his past is not a pleasant one. He is in devastation as he is confused whether he should try to find out about his past or hold back. He is full of both curiosity and fear as he knows that his past was horrifying, yet he still wants to find out. Although I haven’t been in a situation as serious as Adam’s, there were many times that I tried to figure things out when I already knew how terrifying it is. For instance, when people told me that one of my friends had a horrible past, I tried to ignore them and continue on with our relationship. Yet, I found it suspicious that he always had to go to the hospital. I soon found myself searching through his album and his mails even when I was in complete fear of finding something horrible. It was not long before I found out that my friend had gone through fourteen surgeries on his leg due to a disease. When I had finally found the truth, I desperately wished that I would have gone back in time to have never found out such tragedy, yet I continued to these acts throughout other times in my life. Through this I realized that some things aren’t told and kept a secret for a reason. Therefore, as Adam was trying to find more and more about the secret past that had been kept from him, I kept wishing in my mind that Adam would stop with the spying as I fell deeper into my reading.

Tape OZK008 to Tape OZK0010

I read up to the seventh section of the book, from Tape OZK008 to Tape OZK0010.

The eighth section begins with the taped conversation between Brint and Adam. Adam mentions the memory he recovered from the last night as he was able to recall a mysterious figured called the gray man. Adam was deepened into trying to figure out who this concealed character was. He didn’t have any knowledge of who this man was, but he knew that he had taken a significant role in his past. Oddly, Brint forcefully urges Adam to try harder to remember, but Adam is not able to remember anymore as he is intensely pressured by Brint. Brint changes the topic to Paul Delmonte since Adam had refused to talk about this man the last time Brint had brought him up during their conversation. Soon, Adam confesses that the reason he refused to talk about Paul Delmonte was because he had no idea of who Paul was. Brint then decides to dismiss Adam. The scene changes to Adam’s bike journey narrated in a first person account as he is alerted by a big ditch. As he tries to prevent himself from falling into the ditch, Whipper almost pushes Adam into the ditch as he passes by in his car. Whipper then turns around in his car as he speeds back toward Adam to hurt him. One of Whipper’s friends in the car manages to strike Adam’s shoulder as the car makes a small collision with the bike. Adam pedals for his life, but cannot match up to the powerful speed of the car as he is pushed into the ditch.

The ninth section starts with the taped conversation between Brint and Adam as Brint tries to communicate with Adam. However, Adam does not even acknowledge Brint. Brint tries to find out why Adam had been inactive, resisting to get out of bed and eat meals. Brint tells Adam that he had heard Adam was doing nothing, but simply stare into the empty space. Brint continues to talk in effort to get Adam more engaged, but it is no use. Adam continues to ignore Brint. Brint has no choice but to end the session, assuring Adam that he will help Adam recover his past.

The tenth section also begins with the taped conversation between Brint and Adam. Brint again attempts to get Adam to talk, but Adam is without a word. He had continued to be inactive, refusing to eat his meals. Brint asks about the gray man that Adam mentioned earlier, but Adam does not respond. Brint decides to end the session realizing that progress cannot be made.

Robert Cormier has a sensational way of creating an irresistible curiosity in our minds as we read. As I was reading the eighth section, I fell deeper in the taped conversation going on between Brint and Adam. The conversation felt rather peaceful as Adam seemed to tell the truth as he confesses about Paul Delmonte. However, there is no certainty that Adam is actually telling the truth since Robert Cormier had already revealed that Adam can lie and does lie. Through a third person narrative revealing Adam’s inner thoughts, Robert showed how easily Adam can lie and the deceitful thoughts that wander around in his mind. It engages the readers more powerfully as we try to decide whether Adam lying or actually telling the truth. When I came across this thought, I looked back at the conversations taped before, trying to solve this mystery of Adam’s inner thoughts. I felt as if Adam was still holding back some information, as he usually did in the previous conversations. However, it also occurred to me that Adam just might be telling the truth, based on his voice during his confessions, dragging me deeper into confusion.

More connections are also unfolded between the taped conversation between Brint and Adam, and the first person narrative of the bike trip. During his journey on his bike, Whipper, the bully he had met in the restaurant comes chasing after Adam in his car. One of Whipper’s friends then pushes Adam into a ditch. When the scene changes back to the conversation from the bike trip, Adam no longer responds to Brint, staring into the empty space. It seems as if he had been bullied and threatened, suffering to a point in which he does not want to live anymore, refusing to eat his meals. It gives a bizarre idea that it may have been possible that the bike trip and the conversation is occurring at the same time rather than at different periods of time in Adam’s life. After Adam is bullied in the bike trip, Adam is depressed in the conversations, not responding to any of Brint’s question, unlike the time he had been answering earlier before he was pushed into the ditch. This part strongly struck me since I had also been severely bullied like Adam. When my family moved to United States, we temporarily stayed at a ghetto neighborhood. As the first and only Asian boy in the whole school, the bullies in the school decided to pick on me in my first day at school. They tried to shove me into a locker, but I fought back, giving one of bullies a petrifying stab in his eyes. This only worsened the situation as I was stuck in my own locker for three hours. The school counselor realizing that I had been bullied, calling me in after school. However, I was silent, without any liveliness inside me. I sat there staring into the space as if dead. The next day, I refused to neither eat breakfast nor go to school as I fought hard to stay in bed. Although our family did eventually move to a better neighborhood, it remained as an unforgettable experience which is why this connection significantly stood out from all the other connections. Having been bullied, the connections between the two scenes were clear since Adam behaved the same way I had.

Tape OZK007

I read up to the seventh section of the book, from Tape OZK007.

The seventh section begins with the Adam’s bike journey narrated in a first person account as he is eating clam chowder in a small restaurant, watching three guys eating popcorn. The counterman then comes over, dropping a huge chunk of butter into Adam’s clam chowder, believing that he is doing Adam a favor as Adam has no option but to simply thank the thin counterman. As he is eating, the three guys eating popcorn start throwing popcorn at Adam, annoying him, but he ignores them. The popcorn having no affect on Adam, one of the guys called Whipper approaches Adam, irritating Adam with numerous questions, picking a fight. However, Adam doesn’t do much, eating and answering the questions. Whipper pretends to be a bit angered that Adam shows distrust by putting his bike in the police station for safekeeping. Whipper’s interest turns to the package that Adam has, but Adam fights him off from even touching the package, soon leaving the restaurant. The scene changes to the conversation between Brint and Adam in two-fifteen in the morning as Adam is extremely troubled, asking Brint to fill in the blanks that he has in his memories. As Brint is thrown into confusion of Adam’s words, Adam remembers the time he has awoken, in terror, feeling isolated, unable to find out who he is, where he is, and all the other questions filling up his head. He finds himself in deep pain, unable to fill in the blanks in his identity. The scene returns back to the conversation as Adam is in frightening confusion, unable to recover enough memory to figure out his identity. Brint tells Adam that the reason may be that the memories were so frightening that Adam cannot recall them. Adam continues, telling Brint that he hates everybody and has a feeling that they hate him too. Adam decides to rest as he takes the pill recommended by Brint. The story changes to the first person narrative of the bike journey as Adam finds a telephone booth. He calls Amy through a male operator, but he realizes that he had called the wrong number. As he on the phone, he finds the guys from the small restaurant walking at his direction, quickly escaping the place on his bike, frightening him.

Although the bike journey from a first person narrative and the conversation between Brint and Adam seems to have no connections, more connections are built in this section between the two different scenes. It was first the German shepherd that had connected the two, the dog appearing in both scenes. The second connection is the three guys picking on Adam during his bike trip. The conversations following soon after the scene in which Adam was picked on, Adam tells Brint that he will say no more because he knows that the people hate Adam, stating that he hates them as well, replying in anger. Although Robert Cormier doesn’t directly tell that the people who hate Adam in the conversation are the three guys who are picking on him during the bike trip, he gives enough clues for readers to figure out that the three guys in the bike adventure and the same people that Adam hates as he mentions them in the conversation. The critical clue is that Adam, during the taped conversation, says the reason the people hated him is because of his difference which is exactly why the three guys from the restaurant had hated Adam, for coming from a different place.

Adam is in devastation as he cannot recover enough memory to discover his identity. He is waking up at nights, terrorized, trapped into a place in which he has no idea of. He cannot figure out where he is and why he is there. Memories create identity. Identity creates a life. Without memories, Adam is without identity, and without identity, he is without life. He is living without life. However, the more horrifying part for Adam is that the reason he cannot recover his memories easily is because his mind doesn’t want to recover them because the memories are too terrible. Adam is in such a desperate situation, needing someone to depend on. When he wakes up in two fifteen in the morning, he doesn’t have anyone to go to for comfort. He doesn’t have any option but to go to Brint and trust him at that moment. Even though he had previously gone against Brint, he simply agreed with Brint in taking the medicine, having no one else to depend on during such desperate moment. This shows how people depend on even those whom they have never trusted, when terrorized and frightened until such a point. I have had the experience during a camp in which I awoke at one in the morning. It was a nightmare about the building that my friends and I secretly spray painted with. I was in such terror that I immediately went to the counselor in that camp and told it all. Even though I abhorred the camp and the counselor was mean, I told him that I was to be blamed for the building because the nightmare had shocked me to such a point that I would have said anything. Despite the hostility Brint and Adam had between each other, Adam was frightened to a destructive point that he had to go to someone, even if he couldn’t trust them. This also shows how formidable it can be to be without memories and identity, in a place you have no idea of with no one to trust.

Tape OZK006

I read up to the sixth section of the book, from Tape OZK006.

Tape OZK006 begins with the conversation between Brint and Adam as Brint urges Adam to think of the lie that Adam made during the phone call to hide his family’s identity. Adam agrees of how bizarre it was that he had lied to Amy, automatically trying to conceal the family’s true identity. Brint continues to question Adam if he had doubted his father and believed that he had been lied to by his parents. However, Adam innocently answers that he didn’t bother asking his father about it, trusting him. Brint is a bit frustrated that Adam does not tell Brint the information he truly wants, why the family had fled from Rawlings. Despite Adam’s innocent response in the conversation, Adam knows more than he has told, the secret of Adam being revealed by third person account in which Adam’s inner thoughts are told. Adam remembers the day that he had stolen his father’s keys to his desk drawers, in suspicion of why the editor did not know of their family when they were in Rawlings. As his father was mowing the lawn, he swiftly snuck into his father’s desk drawers. Inside were three official birth certificates, affirming his last name as “Adam David Farmer”. It also stated his birthday in February 14th, Valentine’s Day. However, there was another birth certificate, which stated that his birthday was not February 14th, but July 14th. Adam was thrown into confusion, but he didn’t have enough time to examine the certificate as his father came in the house. Adam’s world was simply terrified, causing him to hide in the cellar in such fright. The scene is then suddenly returned to the conversation between Brint and Adam as Adam is telling Brint of the time Adam had found the birth certificates. Brint is continues asking Adam questions and when Adam ignores the last question he asks with excuses, Brint repeats the question showing that he will not let Adam get away with excuses.

Then the third person account revealing Adam’s inner thoughts tell that Adam had lied, starting to be more alert, and often spying on their parents after finding the sealed birth certificate. The scene is changed to the conversation as Adam tells that he had found out too many things, yet not enough. Brint is in confusion by Adam’s statement, replies in a question with hostility, later apologizing for the rude reply. Adam feels more hostile toward Brint, believing Brint already knows all about Adam’s memory. However, Brint denies it, asking of what he found out afterwards about the secrets. Adam attempts not to tell Brint of what his mother Thursday’s phone calls were about. Although he tried hard not to tell as said in a third person account showing Adam’s inner thoughts, Brint somehow lured him into telling the story during the conversation. Adam hates talking to Brint, yet he realizes its importance as he finds himself recovering much of his memories through the conversations with Brint. The narrative continues to change from the conversation to the third person account revealing Adam’s inner thoughts to the third person account telling of Adam’s memory that he remembers. Then the scene changes to Adam’s flashback of what had happened when he eavesdropped to his mother’s phone call. Adam had not suspected anything at first when his father demanded for him to keep off the phone for his mother on Thursday nights since she was making a phone call to someone special. However, after having found the sealed birth certificate, he couldn’t stop his suspicion he had. He used another phone to hear who she was talking and what she was talking about. His world was shook as he found out that his mother was talking to his aunt whom his parents have lied to him of, Adam having been told that they had no living relatives. Adam was thrown into more confusion and devastation, trying to figure out what was going on from the pieces of clues that he got. The scene was changed to the conversation again as Adam told Brint that, it was after eavesdropping the phone call that he was assured something was going wrong. Adam tells Brint that he needs some rest, having had the longest session, Brint agreed and allowed Adam to be dismissed.

In this section of the story, Brint and Adam’s conflict becomes much clearer as Brint tries to get information out of Adam as Adam strongly refuses to by telling lies. This creates a feeling of malevolence in both characters. Brint feels as a more hostile character, constantly making Adam tell things that he does not really want to talk about. It is as if, he is in a way torturing Adam, continuously asking questions, luring him into answering the questions. It is also that Adam feels that Brint already knows all of his memory, placing Brint as a more powerful character in the story, giving Brint an evil feeling since he is not only with more power, but is using that power of being a psychiatrist into making Adam tell things to him. Not only is a feeling malevolence created in Brint, but even in Adam himself as the readers realize how he is lying to Brint about what he remembers and does not remember. Adam seems to be the protagonist character in the story, yet there is something evil and dark inside him as he not only lies, but he uses criminal ways to find clues about his identity. This creates suspicion toward Adam, making him unreliable whether it is what he tells Brint in the conversation or his story from the first person account.

At this point of the story, clues are starting to found as Adam desperately hunts for them in suspicion of his family and his identity. The first clue that he finds, the sealed birth certificate brings many questions about his identity. Why were there two birth certificates of him? Why was the second one with the wrong birthday date sealed? Adam is tumbled into a world of a deeper mystery as he discovers his second clue, the existence of his aunt. He feels as if he is alone, unable to trust anyone, not even his parents, realizing that even his parents have lied to him, having told Adam that they had no relatives existing when his aunt was still living. He tries to connect the memories together starting from the flights to the clues that he found. However, he was only placed in deeper confusion as faced with more questions. Why did they flee? What made his aunt even flee? Why was she kept a secret from him? Why did he have two birth certificates with different dates? He feels as if he has a secret identity, yet does not have many clues of that secret identity. He realizes something dark behind his family and his secret identity as he watches her mother holding herself back from engaging in other activities with other mothers.

There is a significant symbolism in this section of the story. Adam’s birthday on the first birth certificate is February 14th which is Valentine’s Day. His birthday on the second birth certificate is July 14th which is Independence Day. The Valentine’s Day and Independence Day symbolizes what Adam longs and searches for in this mystery: love and freedom since the Valentine’s Day celebrates love and Independence Day celebrates the freedom. He searches for his father’s love in the bike journey as he travels to visit his father with a present. He searches and longs for freedom from the conversations he is trapped into everyday in the hospital. He wants freedom from what has been causing his family to flee. These two birthdays written on the birth certificates symbolize the ultimate goal of Adam throughout the story. Since he was born on those two days, it is that he was born to live for love and freedom in his life.

Tape OZK005

I read up to the fourth section of the book, from Tape OKZ005.
The story falls deeper into the mystery of Adam Farmer. Tape OKZ005 starts with the bike trip narrative, Adam desperately urging to talk to Amy, unable to think of anything else that will encourage him to journey on. He was tired, wishing that he would have taken the medicine before taking off. He falls into deeper devastation as he finds out that he would not be able to make it to the motel in Belton falls in time before night. Despite the discouragement, Adam is able to recall happy memories he had with his parents of the owner of the house that stood in front of him. Even though Amy would have been at school, he decides to call her, but she does not pick up the phone. Encouraging himself by singing “The Farmer in the Dell”, he heads for Carver town. Then the narrative and setting is changed to the conversations that Brint and Adam have. Brint asks about Amy, and this time, Adam seems to be more cooperative telling of what she knows about Amy. Adam starts telling of Amy, distinguishing her from the rest of the people whom he believes are clues. As he starts telling, he falls into a memory of them making out, realizing more and more of whom she actually was and the relationship he had with her. Not only was she funny and talkative, but it was her admiration for his dream of becoming a famous author that made him truly fall in deep love with as soon as his eyes met her. Amy also seemed to like Adam, wanting to do activities such as Numbers with him. Adam was attracted more and more to Amy not only because she was opposite of what he was like, bold and courageous, but he became more like her and less like himself when they spent time together, which was one of Adam’s significant characteristic, being someone else than himself. He fell into happy memories of the times they spent playing Numbers which was placing as much canned goods into a cart than successfully abandoning the cart in the mart.

The narrative and setting changed back to the conversation, Adam stating that Amy is one of the clues, falling into another memory in a third person narrative. He recalls telling Amy that he used to live in Rawlings his first four years of his life. One day he significantly remembers is the day that suspicion ran through his family’s identity. Amy met an editor from Rawlings and asked if he had heard of Adam’s family a few years back. However, the editor has not heard of such a family, stunning Adam, making him question his family’s identity. He decides that it was something that had to do with the night his family was running away on the bus. Despite the loving relationship he had with Amy, he decides to lie to Amy that he actually stayed in Rawlings for only a couple months which is why the editor doesn’t know his family. It is not only that he had actually lied without guilt, changing the true identity of his family; it is that something pushed him to lie to Amy. The narrative and setting is back to the conversation. Adam tells Brint that he logically interpreted the situation and decided to believe that it was just the editor who had a bad memory. Brint then states this second piece of significant memory as landmark, suggesting Adam to eat more medicine to allow him to bring back more memories. The narrative is back to the bike trip as he vigorously travels through the rain to Carver. All his belongings including the gift for his father are wet due to the rain. He thinks of giving up, yet encourages himself to go on, singing the “The Farmer in the Dell.”

Robert Cormier adds a significant curve to this story by telling of Adam’s instinct of lying. Adam found it so easy to lie and something powerful inside him those made him lie, hiding him and his family’s identity. It curves the story in to a much deeper mystery of Adam and his family’s identity. The hiding of identity by Adam made me fall deeper because if someone does not reveal their identity, even to their loved ones, there is something much sinister about the identity. It is also something about Adam lying that changes the perspective that I had of the bike trip from Adam’s point of view, narrated in first person. Since the bike trip is never from a third person, telling of what is really going on, not just what Adam tells is going on, it brings more suspicion. It is not only the lying, but in the previous sections, it is shown that Adam does not always choose tell the truth such as the conversations between Adam and Brint. This definitely brings doubt in the bike trip.

As I was reading, I imagined what it would be like to be Adam, having conversations trying to remember things that the psychiatrist is asking of. Even though Adam did not really want to reveal anything to Brint, he somehow found a way for Adam to tell of his past by forcing him to remember details. The terrifying part is that he remembers what happened, but does remember why he did it or what caused him to do it. He remembers him lying to Amy about his family’s identity, but does not remember why he had lied and what about his family’s identity made him lie to his loved one. He remembers that he has lived in Rawlings for four years, yet does not know how the editor does not remember his family. It would have been especially terrifying to not really know your identity and your family’s identity, suddenly starting to remember frightening things that happened in your life, starting to remember bit by bit of your identity, but ending with more question and put into deeper confusion. To be alone without anyone, barely knowing who you are and where you are, and being forced upon to remember the horrible past that you have been through would have been too much for me to handle.

Tape OZK003, Tape OZK004

I read up to the fourth section of the book, from Tape OZK003 to OKZ004.
Such as always, there is another conversation with Brint constantly asking Adam questions. However, Adam simply ignores Brint this time, not giving him feedback, forcing Brint to call this meeting off. During the conversation, Adam strangely feels that something he does not know is causing him to forget things, throwing him into confusion. The narrative and setting change to the adventurous bike trip. As Adam stands on top of the hill, he is confronted by a dog standing in the middle of the road on the bottom, as if vigorously waiting to hurt Adam. Swallowing his fear, he courageously pedals down the hill, swiftly passing the Then he is dog with speed, but the dog continues to chase him, making him fear for his life until the dog sees another car to chase. Having escaped from the dog, he continues to journey on to Rutterburg. The bike trip then switches back to the conversation. Shockingly, Adam starts to question Brint and his identity. He asks who Brint actually is and what place he is exactly in. Brint somehow shrewdly avoids answering these questions by asking another question back, then giving an answer, creating a bit of suspicion. Brint continues the conversation, asking of the clues he had been asking of earlier. The narrative is quickly switched to third person, telling of Adam’s inner thoughts of how he should answer this question. As he wisely selects only a few parts of what he believes are the clues that Brint is talking about. The narrative switches into which does not show any more inner thoughts of the characters. The German shepherd outside the building is somehow able to remind Adam that it is a dog that is related to the clues. Not exactly the dog outside, but some different dog, allowing him to fall into another deep memory that he faintly remembers of how a dog confronted him and his father in the woods. Strangely, his father was guiding Adam to a road that they don’t really know, heading for the library. Then, with another odd move, Adam’s father started to guide Adam away from the library and to the woods as if they were desperately trying to hide from something coming from the library. It is during the running away and hiding that they are stopped by a dog. Adam, terrified, simply listens to the directions told by his father in order to escape the dog. Although Adam was able to successfully escape the ferocious dog’s attack, his father had no choice but to fight it unto the point the dog gives up. It seemed to be a happening ending, but sinister feelings filled the air as Adam was said to keep quiet about escaping into the woods and of the encounter of the dog.

Although the story may still feel confusing with three different narratives and settings, this is a significant part of the story, since a connection is built between the three, starting to make at least the slightest bit of sense. The dog is introduced in all three different stories. It is introduced in the conversation as Adam states that the German shepherd outside of the building has reminded him of memories of the confrontation that he had with the dog in the woods, resulting in other memories of the situation that his father was going through. The dog stated in the conversation somehow connects the conversation to the old memories that he is having. The dog is also introduced into the bike trip as the animal that Adam has one of the most fears for. If there was no connection between the stories at this point of the story, the curiosity about the mystery would have died down, too confused to understand why there are three stories and how they even connect or relate. With great timing, Robert Cormier starts giving clues of how the three relate. Robert Cormier doesn’t make the connections clear, yet he is able to show that there is some kind of connection between the three different stories. He doesn’t simply show why the three stories are related and connect with each other, but just show the slightest connection, just enough to imprison us in his mind of mystery.

Robert Cormier wisely uses repetition to make the story a bit clearer to give a slight idea of what is going on. He sets the frightening mood and what is going on in the story by repeating scenes of Adam running away. It shows him running away in the bus trip with his parents. Then there is a scene where he is running away from the fierce dog during the bike trip. Lastly, there is also the part where he is not only running away from someone with his dad, but also escaping the dog that attacked him and his dad. The mystery had been made more confusing the more I read, having three different stories in one mystery, each story introducing new characters and characteristics of the characters. However, Robert Cormier keeps the curiosity going clearing up parts of the story, realizing that there will be no curiosity if the mystery was too confusing to realize what was going on.

A new perspective of Brint is also built in this section, stunning me, filling me with a sense that he is not exactly guiding Adam to recover his memory. He seems to be rather trying to control Adam’s memory, than simply guide him, bossy and asking only of the questions that he wants to know. He also denies revealing his identity and who he really is. A sinister feeling of Brint is created, along with much more curiosity to who Brint is than just a psychiatrist. Brint seems as a minor character rather than a main character in the sections before this sinister feeling of Brint is created, but Robert Cormier introduces Brint in section four as one of the main characters than a minor character as he has been in previous section, only asking questions.

Tape OZK002

I read up to the second section of this book, referred to as OZK002.
Despite the countless questions that I already have about the three different mysteries, more new characters are brought into the mystery, building up more questions and suspension. In tape OZK002, one character that Brint foreshadows in the story during the conversation between Brint and Adam is Paul Delmonte. Adam apparently is not really familiar with the name, yet refuses to talk about him. Neither does he wish to talk about Amy, whom he does remember as the girl he shared his love with. A clear message of hostility is sent to Brint as he even denies the medication. Brint then cautiously asks for forgiveness, trying to be friendly by assuring Adam that he is simply a guide trying to help Adam recover his memory, in an attempt to break down the wall of hostility. The story goes back to the bike trip as Adam continues his journey to Rutterburg. The song, “The Farmer in the Dell” is introduced as Adam is in deep memory of how his father used to happily sing it for him, enforcing the song to his family, seeing that it is the song written for their family since it has their last name in it.

Hostile air starts to fill the conversation as Adam is in denial of answering Brint’s question about Paul Delmonte. There is something about Paul Delmonte that brings such curiosity to my mind. It is Adam’s denial of talking about Paul, despite Adam’s lost memory, of which Paul was, that brings more interest of who this character is. Although Robert Cormier doesn’t seem as if he tries hard to have us guessing and wondering who Paul Delmonte is, he somehow made me keep reading to find out who Paul Delmonte is and what kind of role he had in Adam’s life. Robert Cormier is somehow able to show that Paul Delmonte is a big character taking a big role in this mystery, within a simple conversation, even when Brint does not give any clues that he was a big part in Adam’s life. Robert Cormier’s writing style is simply astounding, trapping me into this mystery without me noticing that I am already behind the bars.

The reason that I was as engaged in the story as Adam sung “The Farmer in the Dell” was that there was something suspicious about it. Adam remembers how his father strongly enforced the song upon their family, saying that the song perfectly fit their family. There seems to have been something about their last name that Adam’s father wants to be imprinted on Adam’s mind. It made me fall deeper and deeper into trying to figure out this mystery. Questions constantly popped into my head. Why Adam’s father would try to imprint on Adam’s mind that their last name was Farmer? Or is it just that Adam’s father found the coincidence so exciting? If Adam’s father was trying to imprint on Adam’s mind that their last name was Farmer, what caused him to do that? The list of questions was endless. However, it was not only the suspicion that I have of the song that got me into my reading. It was him travelling alone without his family, trying to remember happy memories that he had with his parents. With my family not anywhere close by my side, many times, I found myself travelling and doing things alone since my family is in another country. In those lonely moments, I would also look back at the happy memories that I had with my family to try to keep myself from bursting in tears. Strangely, it was not my best friends or the people whom I thought I loved the most that I thought of when I was lonely. It was family that came into my mind. Likewise, it was his parents that Adam tried to remember of when he was lonely, not Amy or other close friends that he had. This showed the significance and importance of parents in one’s life. Adam reminded me of myself and the hard times that I had to spend alone, making my heart sink deeper and deeper as I read.

Tape OZK001

I read the first section of this book, yet completely trapped in this mystery.
As the story begins, I was simply placed in a mist, with mysteries covering every aspect of the story, dragged into such deep mystery, unheard of. Starting from the way Robert Cormier makes the chapters as the tape number, the book overflows with mysteries, creating countless questions in my head. The story begins with perplexity as the narrator is telling his story of going to Rutterburg, Vermont to visit his father on his old bicycle, not revealing any of his identity, but giving small clues to introduce him. He strangely does not even mention his name in the exposition of the story, yet he mentions this girl called Amy whom he apparently loved before running away to Rutterburg. He also tells of some of his internal characteristics, including his fear of dogs and of large open spaces. Robert Cormier truly engages you with this main character, telling just enough about the main character, to create an irresistible curiosity. Not too little to make the story confusing, not too much to make us without curiosity, but just enough to make us eagerly keep reading.

Robert Cormier continues to stun me with his distinct, yet intriguing way of pulling me into this mystery. The first part of Tape OZK001 is in a first person narrative, but the narratives constantly change from one to other, having three different narratives, each telling of three different events and settings. Without any warning, the narrative and setting suddenly changes from the road trip to a conversation between this man, Brint, who is supposedly a psychiatrist and the main character, whose name was Adam. Brint tries to get Adam to remember of his memories, allowing Adam to fall into memories from long ago. The narrative and setting changes once again, the memories narrated in third person. He is taken into the night as he lay in bed in unknown agony that he realized something was going wrong, having listened to his parents whispering of worry and trouble, than harmoniously having their conversation of love. Then, the narrative and setting changes back to the conversation between Brint and Adam. Brint continues to ask of Adam’s memories and what he remembers from it. However, Adam barely remembers anything, faintly able to remember the bus trip with his parents, travelling somewhere else to run away from something. With only his mother’s perfume and his father’s smell from smoking, clear and strong in his memory. Confused, unable to clearly remember, Adam tells Brint that he does not really remember. Surprisingly, the narrative changes again to a third person, telling of what Adam is truly feeling inside. He feels as if Brint is rather friendly, yet does not even want to give Brint any clues of what had happened. The narrative then changes back to the conversation between Brint and Adam. Despite Adam’s hope that Brint will not know of his memories, Brint seems to have somehow read Adam’s mind, asking about the clues that Adam had been secretly thinking about. Adam is shocked, trying to figure out how he had read his mind, refusing to answer the question by going back to the resting place he was before. Then the narrative again changes to the bike trip.

It is like Robert Cormier places us in a dark night. We can barely see what is going on, but only the slightest idea. However, such as the moon and stars provide some light during the night, Robert Cormier provides enough light to allow us to kind of get an idea of who the character is and what the story is. Similar to the way street lamps, the moon, and the small stars all come from different directions showing some different parts of a figure, leaving the rest of the parts not shown as mystery, Robert Cormier tells the mystery in three different narratives and settings, all three not showing any connections yet, leaving it for us to really think and try to interpret what is going on. He does not simply reveal all that is going on and how the three different narratives and settings come together an make sense, such as placing the mystery on a bright sunny day rather than a dark night, but as we read more and more, he just makes the street lamps, the moon, or the stars shine a bit brighter, allowing us to understand more about the characters, but not about how the three different narratives connect. If he had told the story from one narrative and with a smooth story, it would have been less confusing, but without the kind of suspension that Robert Cormier has made. Robert Cormier makes us confused with the sudden transitions of the narratives and settings, but the confusion attracts us to read more, than put the book down and stating how it makes no sense at all.

The first part of the story, Tape OZK001, brought me into such confusion, yet it trapped me into this deep mystery starting from the bike trip. As the story started from a first person narrative of the bike trip to Rutterburg, it was easier to imagine what was happening in my head as I read the story. Since Robert Cormier also didn’t use much direct characterization, it made me truly think of who the character was and what he was like through the indirect characterization throughout the story. This thinking rather brought me deeper and deeper into this abysmal hole of mystery rather than make me have a headache and have a hard time concentrating on the book. I was very much engaged in the first part of the story, the bike trip where the main character is travelling all alone in a big wide open road, since I also have been in somewhat a similar situation. I wasn’t going somewhere to see my father, but lost in this forest. I realized that I should rather go to the wide open road to get back to where my father was, but the road was rather frightening than the forests. It was empty and something about such openness scared me, having lively imprint on my memory. Although the countless transitions between the narratives and the settings were confusing, this confusion rather brought me more into the mystery, making unable to pull myself out.

Three Characteristics

Depressed, Angry, and Lonely
He never had a smile, always with a frown, looking nowhere but down on the blank ground. His frown wasn't even a frown now, it has become his face. His eyes dark brown and frozen in loneliness. His reponses were nothing but cold, pushing everyone away, walking by himself everyday. He was always murmuring words to himself, and if lucky, you were able to hear a word, but too depressed the word was, too hard to understand. He would not eat, not even look at food, but survive through such anger that gave him energy. He was nothing but a skeleton with only anger controlling its brain.

The signficant four characters in the novel

Who are the main characters in the novel? Do you like them? Why or why not? What is special about them? What do they reveal about the universal human experience?

This depressing novel delivers a saddening and terrifying, but true universal human truth through four main characters, each character strongly emphasizing this truth. The four main characters are Winston Smith, Julia, O'Brien, and the Big Brother. The first character that I want to mention is Winston, the leading character of this book. Winston is a skeptical character, secretly questioning nearly everything he encounters in his life. He continuously questions everything, especially the part. He secretly questions the party and why and how they have taken full control of this entire continent, doubting whatever is actually said by the party. He questions why he can’t go on with his utmost pleasure, sex. He is also intelligent and thoughtful, able to interpret and get some hints to what he must do, and why it must be done. He is able to find places to find hints of what life was like before the party took over such as Mr. Charrington’s Second hand shop. He has a bit of courage inside him to find a secret place and attempt at a rebellion, renting the second floor room in Mr. Charrington’s Second hand shop. He also has the courage to have secretly have sex. This character seems to be the one who will finally save the continent from the evil party, however, his fatalism, his biggest weakness, drives him just insane. Instead of believing in himself and putting all his effort to this rebellion, he just does an effortless attempt of rebellion thinking he will be caught and killed in the end. After he finds himself writing “Down with Big Brother” right in front of the telescreen, he just puts in effortless effort and gives him hopeless hope, thinking that he will be tortured and killed in the end, giving ever since the start of the rebellion attempt.

Winston is the exceptional character that I slightly like since I have an unimaginable abhorrence at every other character in this book. I believe that I couldn’t have done any better than Winston put at his desperate situation. We all would have failed to destroy the party because of our own weaknesses. It is true that Winston couldn’t really overcome his weakness and free the continent from the evil party. However, I believe that was all anyone can possibly do. Think about it. Death and torture is ahead of you and you know that you will probably going to get caught and killed no matter what you tell yourself. Will you be able to just courageously go on ahead and cause great rebellion? I don’t think so. Although I deep inside think he could have done much better, I don’t hate him or abhor for not being able to destroy the party.

Although I do not detest Julia as much as O’Brien and the Big Brother, I still hate Julia. She is a young, realistic lady who only looks for pleasure and nothing more. All she looks for is sex and trouble, secretly going around and making love with many different men. She simply doesn’t care about the future or about the party taking complete control over everything. When Winston talks about the party and how it can be destroyed, she simply loses interprets and ignores what he has to say about it. She angers me because she is rather a distraction to Winston’s attempt to destroy the party, distracting him with his utmost pleasure, sex. She keeps meeting him, throwing him off concentration on what is really important.

O’Brien is one of the most detestable characters in this novel. Before Winston is captured and personally tortured by O’Brien, O’Brien is viewed as a hope for rebels who need support. O’Brien is shown as a brave and just man, trying to destroy the evil party and let freedom spread through out the continent. He gives Winston hope, making Winston think that he isn’t the only rebel, wanting to destroy the party. In their first actual meeting, O’Brien even gives Winston a book to give him more knowledge about the party. However, the shocking truth is that O’Brien is a big part in the inner party, used as a trap, soon capturing Winston and torturing him for his act of rebellion to the party. He makes the fall of Winston much more saddening and depressing, making Winston regret his trust for him, then revealing his evil identity. O’Brien continuously tortures Winston, soon using Winston’s most utmost fear to brain wash him. O’Brien just completely gets in control of Winston after all kinds of torture when Winston finally gives up, doing whatever to get out of the insane pain, betraying Julia.

O’Brien is one of the characters that I gravely hate and want to just kill. He was once like Winston and he could have also destroyed the party, but was also brain washed and now a big part of the inner party as he said, “They got me long ago.” This indicates that O’Brien was also once rebellious, but he has learned to just accept the party. O’Brien emphasizes the hopelessness this civilization is in, none unable to rebel and destroy the party. He also strongly emphasizes how evil and dark the Inner Party actually is and how it cannot possibly be penetrated.

The Big Brother is the character that is quite frightening and mysterious. Big Brother is representing the party as one. He also represents other leaders and rulers, who have had absolute power over their country such as Hitler, Kim Jung-Il, and Joseph Stalin. He is just a character that represents the party, but he is powerful and almighty, in full control as if he is God, Himself. The party choose this character because a real big brother, looks after you, taking care of you, seeing if you are making the right choices or not. This character is supposed to be friendly; the party trying to make it look like the party’s action is for the people such as what a big brother does is for his little brother, not for himself. The character Big Brother is like O’Brien, a tool to brain wash people into believing that the evil party is like a big brother of the country, taking care of the people.
I also detest Big Brother because he is the one behind everything, pulling the strings of party leaders such as O’Brien. He is what has caused this whole civilization of come under evil dictator rulers. He is the reason that freedom, even the world itself is nonexistent. He is the one who has caused this absolute control of every aspect of life not any more special than a evil writer making a play with puppets.

Each character helps show and emphasizes a universal human truth with their special attributes. They each resemble a significant character in this world. Winston resembles those who are quite confused, but realizes God is the only way, trying to get to God, desperately fighting and rebelling against Satan to become a Christian. Winston is quite confused how the continent has turned out to be like it is and how the evil party is in absolute control. However, he knows what is right and what must be done. He realizes that he has to destroy the party and realizes that it is the right thing to do. Therefore, Winston resembles those who realize and find out what is the right thing to do, find God in their lives and become a Christian. Winston represents the ones who take responsibility and try to save the world from falling into totalitarianism which resembles people trying to help people become Christians, saving them from going to hell. This reminds me of people who are just figuring out who God is and try to break the walls evil and get to God since they realize that is the right thing to do, but is scared because of evil odds they will have to face which is the exact same situation as Winston realizing that he has to rebel against evil government and destroy it, but is too scared.

Julia resembles those who simply do not care whether what happens to this world. She resembles the people of young generation who do not have any conscience anymore and just seek for pleasure to satisfy themselves. Not only does she represent young women who just want pleasures such as sex and nothing more with their lives, but also young men who also only want pleasures such as sex and drugs, not caring anything about their lives and wanting nothing more with it. She resembles the corrupt people of the young generation who in the end help in making the dystopian world.

O’Brien resembles the evil rulers, corrupting this world, which I like to call Satan’s puppets. These people do whatever Satan tells them to do, hurting and killing anyone who is reaching for God. These people do not actually believe they are completely possessed by Satan, but actually are like part of Satan, doing all kinds of evil, making the world be captivated with darkness and evil. O’Brien resembles Satan’s followers who do everything to stop people from getting to God and stay in almighty power, nearly equal to God’s, such as in the book as O’Brien stops people from getting to freedom.

Big Brother is Satan itself, the evil and savage monster behind all the dystopian nations. Big Brother is the actual character who stops people such as Winston from destroying the party such as Satan is the one who stops people from getting to God. Satan controls many evil rulers such as O’Brien in order to stop people to go to God. Satan closely watches everyone, hurting anyone who shows that they want to go to God. This is parallel to how “Big Brother is watching” and how when party members are caught, they are tortured and brain washed. When people like Winston just simply wouldn’t give up, O’Brien would use their greatest fears upon them, succeeding in brain washing these victims in the end, same as how Satan would quickly find out greatest fears of people who want to become Christians and use it against theses people, doing whatever it can to stop people from getting to God.

These characters all help to show a universal human truth which also matches what the Bible says. Through these characters, it is shown that such dystopian world can be formed through wicked men such as O’Brien. Such a world full of evil where there is barely any hope for anyone to get to God. Where evil men that the Bible has warned about will conquer and control everything, brutally stomping out any hope a person can possibly have.
1 Timothy 6: 3-6
“3If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth…”

Quote of a Significant Passage

Please choose one passage from the novel that is significant to you. Why is this passage meaningful? Please type it into one of your entries and comment on what you think about the passage.

"War is peace

Freedom is slavery

Ignorance is strength"

This passage is very significant to me for various reasons. This passage reminds me of a country where I have been staring at for a long time and hoping to revive and save, North Korea. This passage is so significant to me because the country that I am passionate about, North Korea is also mesmerized with words such as these. This passage is telling us about evil governments who do whatever they want with their people, controlling every part of their aspects. It tells how extreme these governments are. They say that war is peace. How insane is that? War is peace? This passage showing the totalitarianism of the government reminds me of North Korea, also conquered by the totalitarianism of the government.


North Korea was the country that had the largest impact my whole life, mainly because of my parents who had an unbelievable passion in helping the innocent victims of cruel government such as the government in North Korea. Every time when we gathered up in the living room, or somewhere else, my mom would be telling me about how horrible it is in North Korea, frightening me stories from books such as Eyes of the Tailless Animals. She would go on with how savagely tortured these North Koreans were and how they were made to believe whatever the government said. She said that many times these North Korean civilians were savagely stripped, beaten, tortured countless times, then killed even when the tiniest sign of rebellion was shown. Then she would end the dramatic and emotional speech, telling us that we need to grow up and help these innocent victims of North Korea. These stories were unforgettable because of how inhumanely these people treated, inflaming me whenever I heard stories or situations alike this. This not only made me, but also gave me inspiration to work hard and help these people when I grow up. This is why this passage is so significant to me; this passage reminds me of the violent stories of the North Korean government doing whatever they want with the people, causing a bizarre combination of both anger and inspiration. This passage is also significant to me because it reminds me of a time I encountered hundreds of girls who had escaped from North Korea because the government was so cruel and harsh. I was at another city, visiting a church in the suburban area. Then as I turned around the corner, some North Korean girls came at me. They had somehow escaped from their country controlled by the totalitarianism of the government. Their clothes were ripped, not any valuable that cloth thrown away in the streets. Their hair was messed up, a complete disaster. Their dark black faces had dirt marks everywhere. Some were even barefoot. Then next thing I knew tears were flowing down my ten-year old cheeks. I was only ten, but they were still kneeling down, hanging on to my foot. These North Korean girls were desperately asking for money since they had nothing. My whole family was stuck in the middle of the road with these girls hanging unto our legs, tearfully begging. My mom just completely broke down, giving some money to some of the girls. Then all of sudden, nearly fifty girls came rushing toward us, bowing down, asking for money realizing her sympathy. However, my parents knew the consequences of helping these girls. Therefore our family literally ran to the suburban church we were supposed to go to, not looking back. I could still clearly recall that painful moment, those young girls bowing down for money, as a result of the evil government only caring about their selves, and not about the people. They will all do whatever they want with the people, not giving them any freedom in what they say, do, or even believe in. This fires me up with unimaginable anger especially when I am reminded of the poor, young girls begging for money in their filthy rags. This is why this passage, demonstrating the evil and absolutism of the government, is so significant because it reminds me of the poor, young girls begging for money in their filthy rags, suffering all because of the government.


This passage is very meaningful to me because it reminds me of violent stories of the North Korean government savagely torturing civilians continuously told by my mother as I have said before. This passage gives me inspiration to grow up and succeed in life to help these innocent civilians living a life of puppets with no control, but doing whatever the puppeteer tells them to do. It also gives me more passion and fierceness to stand up for these people, having to do and believe whatever the government says. It brings me back to the real world making me realize how cruel and inhumane the governments have become. It alerts me contradicting my thoughts about how the world is going just fine. Most importantly, it is meaningful to me because it gives me a shock, showing what the civilizations in this world are heading towards, dystopia.

Mood of the novel

What is the mood of this novel? do you find this novel saddens you in anyway? why?



The mood of the novel is so depressing that the word 'hopeless' alone cannot possibly describe the mood. This saddening mood goes throughout the whole novel, emphasizing the 'hopeless future'. The novel starts as Winston enters his apartment, full of broken and dirty areas. As soon as I read this chapter, memories of the suburban apartments in China rushed out of my memory. The morbid apartment, that I have lived in for four years, still frightens me through its lifelessness and hopelessness in the walls. It reminds me of the horrible mood of hopelessness that I felt every time I walked up and down the stairs. This apartment powerfully conveyed this depressing mood. Many other objects and events such as the telescreen and diary also showed the mood. However, the mood then changes as Winston meets Julia and O'Brien. There is hope and possibilies flowing through the story, but it is just another tool used to emphasize the hopelessness by contradicting Winston's thought of hope through O'Brien when O'Brien turns out to be another member of the party used to capture and torture Winston. In the end, after torture after torture, Winston is murdered, ending the story with a powerful mood of hopelessness and sadness.


I found this novel definitely saddening because of this is telling us that soon enough, if we don't take action quick enough, our future is bound for hopeless captivation of evil rulers such as the ones in the party in 1984. We will have no hope to break out of that captivation, unable to live in freedom unless somebody stands up and stops the dark rulers from gaining any more power. It basically shows the road of our civilization heading into a deep abysmal hole of evil. There can be nothing more depressing than to know how chaotic and bad your future will be like. It is like knowing you will be going in jail after a couple of years or months, knowing you will be powerless just stuck in a cage unable to do anything. It is not too depressing to know that your past was with no freedom, completely captivated, because it is already past and the bright future is ahead of you. However, to know that there is no bright future, it makes me feel awfully depressed, even until the level of killing me, for something worse than just pain is ahead of me.

The Climax

What is the climax of this novel? What happens? How do the events of this novel make you feel?

The climax of the story is very close to the ending resolution of the story. It is after Winston is caught with rebellious thoughts and actions with Julia. One of the most shocking parts in the story was that. Mr. Charrington, an old man in the secondhand store who had let Winston and Julia use the room, was a Thought Police, turning Winston and Julia over to the party. This seemed to be the climax, but the climax was to come a little later. Winston and Julia are both captured and brutally beaten down countless times by the evil party, weakened more and more. However, the two persevere, determined to not let go of their rebellion deep inside their heart. A variety of torture are performed to these rebellions of the government including Winston, Julia, and even his neighbor, Mr. Parson, turned in to the party by his own kids. The party hopes to brainwash all of them, making them learn that their one and only option is to obey the party. Winston strongly perseveres through the trials of great suffering, but O'Brien then brings out Winston's ultimate fear, rats. The climax is that savage moment when Winston is put into a cage full of vicious rats biting him, the moment when his soul and mind shatters and just simply gives up. The moment where he just let pain overcome him, doing whatever to get out it. He not only betrays what he believes is right, but he even betrays whom he has loved and promised to love and protect, Julia. The moment is where Winston just simply doesn't care about anything whether what the future is or what the civilization will become of. The moment all he cares about himself and his life, nothing else. The moment his moral and conscience had gone and just wants to get out of the pain, the moment where the triumph sound of the absolutism evil party rings through the air.

These events make me feel more than just simply depressed. It makes me feel as if my future is completely abysmal. Think about it. This story is basically saying that if we are too lazy to quickly change the world, there will be absolutely no hope for anyone to break the world free from the absolutism similar to how the party has absolute control over every aspect of every human being in their country and no one can penetrate that captivity. The party will be in full control of everyone, going around destroying and crumbling anyone who doesn’t carry out their orders when we just stall and wait. There wouldn’t be any hope for anyone whatsoever when it is too late. Another part of the story that makes me sad and depressed is how even the people you trust will turn their backs on you, turning you over to the evil possessed people blinded by lust for power. For example, Mr. Parson is turned over to the party for his rebellious thoughts by his own children whom he loves. Think how depressing it will be to be stabbed in the back by your very own child. A place where trust doesn't exist such as in this novel where they all spy each other turning each other over to the evil party. However, it also gives me inspiration in a sense. It shows that if I don't take quick actions to change the world, the world can soon change into the something shown in the 1984, completely corrupt and full of evil everywhere. It makes me feel inspired and also responsible to change the world before evil government or other sort of power controls everyone of us, killing anyone who doesn't obey. It leaves me with confusing question in my head. "Is it too late for us to change this future? Has this horrifying and shocking future come upon us? Has this desperate hopelessness such as in 1984 reach us yet?”

Isaiah 24:16-20
But I said, "That's all well and good for somebody, but all I can see is doom, doom, and more doom." All of them at one another's throats, yes, all of them at one another's throats. Terror and pits and booby traps are everywhere, whoever you are. If you run from the terror, you'll fall into the pit. If you climb out of the pit, you'll get caught in the trap. Chaos pours out of the skies. The foundations of earth are crumbling. Earth is smashed to pieces, earth is ripped to shreds, earth is wobbling out of control, Earth staggers like a drunk, sways like a shack in a high wind. Its piled-up sins are too much for it. It collapses and won't get up again.