Tape OZK005

I read up to the fourth section of the book, from Tape OKZ005.
The story falls deeper into the mystery of Adam Farmer. Tape OKZ005 starts with the bike trip narrative, Adam desperately urging to talk to Amy, unable to think of anything else that will encourage him to journey on. He was tired, wishing that he would have taken the medicine before taking off. He falls into deeper devastation as he finds out that he would not be able to make it to the motel in Belton falls in time before night. Despite the discouragement, Adam is able to recall happy memories he had with his parents of the owner of the house that stood in front of him. Even though Amy would have been at school, he decides to call her, but she does not pick up the phone. Encouraging himself by singing “The Farmer in the Dell”, he heads for Carver town. Then the narrative and setting is changed to the conversations that Brint and Adam have. Brint asks about Amy, and this time, Adam seems to be more cooperative telling of what she knows about Amy. Adam starts telling of Amy, distinguishing her from the rest of the people whom he believes are clues. As he starts telling, he falls into a memory of them making out, realizing more and more of whom she actually was and the relationship he had with her. Not only was she funny and talkative, but it was her admiration for his dream of becoming a famous author that made him truly fall in deep love with as soon as his eyes met her. Amy also seemed to like Adam, wanting to do activities such as Numbers with him. Adam was attracted more and more to Amy not only because she was opposite of what he was like, bold and courageous, but he became more like her and less like himself when they spent time together, which was one of Adam’s significant characteristic, being someone else than himself. He fell into happy memories of the times they spent playing Numbers which was placing as much canned goods into a cart than successfully abandoning the cart in the mart.

The narrative and setting changed back to the conversation, Adam stating that Amy is one of the clues, falling into another memory in a third person narrative. He recalls telling Amy that he used to live in Rawlings his first four years of his life. One day he significantly remembers is the day that suspicion ran through his family’s identity. Amy met an editor from Rawlings and asked if he had heard of Adam’s family a few years back. However, the editor has not heard of such a family, stunning Adam, making him question his family’s identity. He decides that it was something that had to do with the night his family was running away on the bus. Despite the loving relationship he had with Amy, he decides to lie to Amy that he actually stayed in Rawlings for only a couple months which is why the editor doesn’t know his family. It is not only that he had actually lied without guilt, changing the true identity of his family; it is that something pushed him to lie to Amy. The narrative and setting is back to the conversation. Adam tells Brint that he logically interpreted the situation and decided to believe that it was just the editor who had a bad memory. Brint then states this second piece of significant memory as landmark, suggesting Adam to eat more medicine to allow him to bring back more memories. The narrative is back to the bike trip as he vigorously travels through the rain to Carver. All his belongings including the gift for his father are wet due to the rain. He thinks of giving up, yet encourages himself to go on, singing the “The Farmer in the Dell.”

Robert Cormier adds a significant curve to this story by telling of Adam’s instinct of lying. Adam found it so easy to lie and something powerful inside him those made him lie, hiding him and his family’s identity. It curves the story in to a much deeper mystery of Adam and his family’s identity. The hiding of identity by Adam made me fall deeper because if someone does not reveal their identity, even to their loved ones, there is something much sinister about the identity. It is also something about Adam lying that changes the perspective that I had of the bike trip from Adam’s point of view, narrated in first person. Since the bike trip is never from a third person, telling of what is really going on, not just what Adam tells is going on, it brings more suspicion. It is not only the lying, but in the previous sections, it is shown that Adam does not always choose tell the truth such as the conversations between Adam and Brint. This definitely brings doubt in the bike trip.

As I was reading, I imagined what it would be like to be Adam, having conversations trying to remember things that the psychiatrist is asking of. Even though Adam did not really want to reveal anything to Brint, he somehow found a way for Adam to tell of his past by forcing him to remember details. The terrifying part is that he remembers what happened, but does remember why he did it or what caused him to do it. He remembers him lying to Amy about his family’s identity, but does not remember why he had lied and what about his family’s identity made him lie to his loved one. He remembers that he has lived in Rawlings for four years, yet does not know how the editor does not remember his family. It would have been especially terrifying to not really know your identity and your family’s identity, suddenly starting to remember frightening things that happened in your life, starting to remember bit by bit of your identity, but ending with more question and put into deeper confusion. To be alone without anyone, barely knowing who you are and where you are, and being forced upon to remember the horrible past that you have been through would have been too much for me to handle.

Tape OZK003, Tape OZK004

I read up to the fourth section of the book, from Tape OZK003 to OKZ004.
Such as always, there is another conversation with Brint constantly asking Adam questions. However, Adam simply ignores Brint this time, not giving him feedback, forcing Brint to call this meeting off. During the conversation, Adam strangely feels that something he does not know is causing him to forget things, throwing him into confusion. The narrative and setting change to the adventurous bike trip. As Adam stands on top of the hill, he is confronted by a dog standing in the middle of the road on the bottom, as if vigorously waiting to hurt Adam. Swallowing his fear, he courageously pedals down the hill, swiftly passing the Then he is dog with speed, but the dog continues to chase him, making him fear for his life until the dog sees another car to chase. Having escaped from the dog, he continues to journey on to Rutterburg. The bike trip then switches back to the conversation. Shockingly, Adam starts to question Brint and his identity. He asks who Brint actually is and what place he is exactly in. Brint somehow shrewdly avoids answering these questions by asking another question back, then giving an answer, creating a bit of suspicion. Brint continues the conversation, asking of the clues he had been asking of earlier. The narrative is quickly switched to third person, telling of Adam’s inner thoughts of how he should answer this question. As he wisely selects only a few parts of what he believes are the clues that Brint is talking about. The narrative switches into which does not show any more inner thoughts of the characters. The German shepherd outside the building is somehow able to remind Adam that it is a dog that is related to the clues. Not exactly the dog outside, but some different dog, allowing him to fall into another deep memory that he faintly remembers of how a dog confronted him and his father in the woods. Strangely, his father was guiding Adam to a road that they don’t really know, heading for the library. Then, with another odd move, Adam’s father started to guide Adam away from the library and to the woods as if they were desperately trying to hide from something coming from the library. It is during the running away and hiding that they are stopped by a dog. Adam, terrified, simply listens to the directions told by his father in order to escape the dog. Although Adam was able to successfully escape the ferocious dog’s attack, his father had no choice but to fight it unto the point the dog gives up. It seemed to be a happening ending, but sinister feelings filled the air as Adam was said to keep quiet about escaping into the woods and of the encounter of the dog.

Although the story may still feel confusing with three different narratives and settings, this is a significant part of the story, since a connection is built between the three, starting to make at least the slightest bit of sense. The dog is introduced in all three different stories. It is introduced in the conversation as Adam states that the German shepherd outside of the building has reminded him of memories of the confrontation that he had with the dog in the woods, resulting in other memories of the situation that his father was going through. The dog stated in the conversation somehow connects the conversation to the old memories that he is having. The dog is also introduced into the bike trip as the animal that Adam has one of the most fears for. If there was no connection between the stories at this point of the story, the curiosity about the mystery would have died down, too confused to understand why there are three stories and how they even connect or relate. With great timing, Robert Cormier starts giving clues of how the three relate. Robert Cormier doesn’t make the connections clear, yet he is able to show that there is some kind of connection between the three different stories. He doesn’t simply show why the three stories are related and connect with each other, but just show the slightest connection, just enough to imprison us in his mind of mystery.

Robert Cormier wisely uses repetition to make the story a bit clearer to give a slight idea of what is going on. He sets the frightening mood and what is going on in the story by repeating scenes of Adam running away. It shows him running away in the bus trip with his parents. Then there is a scene where he is running away from the fierce dog during the bike trip. Lastly, there is also the part where he is not only running away from someone with his dad, but also escaping the dog that attacked him and his dad. The mystery had been made more confusing the more I read, having three different stories in one mystery, each story introducing new characters and characteristics of the characters. However, Robert Cormier keeps the curiosity going clearing up parts of the story, realizing that there will be no curiosity if the mystery was too confusing to realize what was going on.

A new perspective of Brint is also built in this section, stunning me, filling me with a sense that he is not exactly guiding Adam to recover his memory. He seems to be rather trying to control Adam’s memory, than simply guide him, bossy and asking only of the questions that he wants to know. He also denies revealing his identity and who he really is. A sinister feeling of Brint is created, along with much more curiosity to who Brint is than just a psychiatrist. Brint seems as a minor character rather than a main character in the sections before this sinister feeling of Brint is created, but Robert Cormier introduces Brint in section four as one of the main characters than a minor character as he has been in previous section, only asking questions.

Tape OZK002

I read up to the second section of this book, referred to as OZK002.
Despite the countless questions that I already have about the three different mysteries, more new characters are brought into the mystery, building up more questions and suspension. In tape OZK002, one character that Brint foreshadows in the story during the conversation between Brint and Adam is Paul Delmonte. Adam apparently is not really familiar with the name, yet refuses to talk about him. Neither does he wish to talk about Amy, whom he does remember as the girl he shared his love with. A clear message of hostility is sent to Brint as he even denies the medication. Brint then cautiously asks for forgiveness, trying to be friendly by assuring Adam that he is simply a guide trying to help Adam recover his memory, in an attempt to break down the wall of hostility. The story goes back to the bike trip as Adam continues his journey to Rutterburg. The song, “The Farmer in the Dell” is introduced as Adam is in deep memory of how his father used to happily sing it for him, enforcing the song to his family, seeing that it is the song written for their family since it has their last name in it.

Hostile air starts to fill the conversation as Adam is in denial of answering Brint’s question about Paul Delmonte. There is something about Paul Delmonte that brings such curiosity to my mind. It is Adam’s denial of talking about Paul, despite Adam’s lost memory, of which Paul was, that brings more interest of who this character is. Although Robert Cormier doesn’t seem as if he tries hard to have us guessing and wondering who Paul Delmonte is, he somehow made me keep reading to find out who Paul Delmonte is and what kind of role he had in Adam’s life. Robert Cormier is somehow able to show that Paul Delmonte is a big character taking a big role in this mystery, within a simple conversation, even when Brint does not give any clues that he was a big part in Adam’s life. Robert Cormier’s writing style is simply astounding, trapping me into this mystery without me noticing that I am already behind the bars.

The reason that I was as engaged in the story as Adam sung “The Farmer in the Dell” was that there was something suspicious about it. Adam remembers how his father strongly enforced the song upon their family, saying that the song perfectly fit their family. There seems to have been something about their last name that Adam’s father wants to be imprinted on Adam’s mind. It made me fall deeper and deeper into trying to figure out this mystery. Questions constantly popped into my head. Why Adam’s father would try to imprint on Adam’s mind that their last name was Farmer? Or is it just that Adam’s father found the coincidence so exciting? If Adam’s father was trying to imprint on Adam’s mind that their last name was Farmer, what caused him to do that? The list of questions was endless. However, it was not only the suspicion that I have of the song that got me into my reading. It was him travelling alone without his family, trying to remember happy memories that he had with his parents. With my family not anywhere close by my side, many times, I found myself travelling and doing things alone since my family is in another country. In those lonely moments, I would also look back at the happy memories that I had with my family to try to keep myself from bursting in tears. Strangely, it was not my best friends or the people whom I thought I loved the most that I thought of when I was lonely. It was family that came into my mind. Likewise, it was his parents that Adam tried to remember of when he was lonely, not Amy or other close friends that he had. This showed the significance and importance of parents in one’s life. Adam reminded me of myself and the hard times that I had to spend alone, making my heart sink deeper and deeper as I read.

Tape OZK001

I read the first section of this book, yet completely trapped in this mystery.
As the story begins, I was simply placed in a mist, with mysteries covering every aspect of the story, dragged into such deep mystery, unheard of. Starting from the way Robert Cormier makes the chapters as the tape number, the book overflows with mysteries, creating countless questions in my head. The story begins with perplexity as the narrator is telling his story of going to Rutterburg, Vermont to visit his father on his old bicycle, not revealing any of his identity, but giving small clues to introduce him. He strangely does not even mention his name in the exposition of the story, yet he mentions this girl called Amy whom he apparently loved before running away to Rutterburg. He also tells of some of his internal characteristics, including his fear of dogs and of large open spaces. Robert Cormier truly engages you with this main character, telling just enough about the main character, to create an irresistible curiosity. Not too little to make the story confusing, not too much to make us without curiosity, but just enough to make us eagerly keep reading.

Robert Cormier continues to stun me with his distinct, yet intriguing way of pulling me into this mystery. The first part of Tape OZK001 is in a first person narrative, but the narratives constantly change from one to other, having three different narratives, each telling of three different events and settings. Without any warning, the narrative and setting suddenly changes from the road trip to a conversation between this man, Brint, who is supposedly a psychiatrist and the main character, whose name was Adam. Brint tries to get Adam to remember of his memories, allowing Adam to fall into memories from long ago. The narrative and setting changes once again, the memories narrated in third person. He is taken into the night as he lay in bed in unknown agony that he realized something was going wrong, having listened to his parents whispering of worry and trouble, than harmoniously having their conversation of love. Then, the narrative and setting changes back to the conversation between Brint and Adam. Brint continues to ask of Adam’s memories and what he remembers from it. However, Adam barely remembers anything, faintly able to remember the bus trip with his parents, travelling somewhere else to run away from something. With only his mother’s perfume and his father’s smell from smoking, clear and strong in his memory. Confused, unable to clearly remember, Adam tells Brint that he does not really remember. Surprisingly, the narrative changes again to a third person, telling of what Adam is truly feeling inside. He feels as if Brint is rather friendly, yet does not even want to give Brint any clues of what had happened. The narrative then changes back to the conversation between Brint and Adam. Despite Adam’s hope that Brint will not know of his memories, Brint seems to have somehow read Adam’s mind, asking about the clues that Adam had been secretly thinking about. Adam is shocked, trying to figure out how he had read his mind, refusing to answer the question by going back to the resting place he was before. Then the narrative again changes to the bike trip.

It is like Robert Cormier places us in a dark night. We can barely see what is going on, but only the slightest idea. However, such as the moon and stars provide some light during the night, Robert Cormier provides enough light to allow us to kind of get an idea of who the character is and what the story is. Similar to the way street lamps, the moon, and the small stars all come from different directions showing some different parts of a figure, leaving the rest of the parts not shown as mystery, Robert Cormier tells the mystery in three different narratives and settings, all three not showing any connections yet, leaving it for us to really think and try to interpret what is going on. He does not simply reveal all that is going on and how the three different narratives and settings come together an make sense, such as placing the mystery on a bright sunny day rather than a dark night, but as we read more and more, he just makes the street lamps, the moon, or the stars shine a bit brighter, allowing us to understand more about the characters, but not about how the three different narratives connect. If he had told the story from one narrative and with a smooth story, it would have been less confusing, but without the kind of suspension that Robert Cormier has made. Robert Cormier makes us confused with the sudden transitions of the narratives and settings, but the confusion attracts us to read more, than put the book down and stating how it makes no sense at all.

The first part of the story, Tape OZK001, brought me into such confusion, yet it trapped me into this deep mystery starting from the bike trip. As the story started from a first person narrative of the bike trip to Rutterburg, it was easier to imagine what was happening in my head as I read the story. Since Robert Cormier also didn’t use much direct characterization, it made me truly think of who the character was and what he was like through the indirect characterization throughout the story. This thinking rather brought me deeper and deeper into this abysmal hole of mystery rather than make me have a headache and have a hard time concentrating on the book. I was very much engaged in the first part of the story, the bike trip where the main character is travelling all alone in a big wide open road, since I also have been in somewhat a similar situation. I wasn’t going somewhere to see my father, but lost in this forest. I realized that I should rather go to the wide open road to get back to where my father was, but the road was rather frightening than the forests. It was empty and something about such openness scared me, having lively imprint on my memory. Although the countless transitions between the narratives and the settings were confusing, this confusion rather brought me more into the mystery, making unable to pull myself out.

Three Characteristics

Depressed, Angry, and Lonely
He never had a smile, always with a frown, looking nowhere but down on the blank ground. His frown wasn't even a frown now, it has become his face. His eyes dark brown and frozen in loneliness. His reponses were nothing but cold, pushing everyone away, walking by himself everyday. He was always murmuring words to himself, and if lucky, you were able to hear a word, but too depressed the word was, too hard to understand. He would not eat, not even look at food, but survive through such anger that gave him energy. He was nothing but a skeleton with only anger controlling its brain.